Things I Heard in Medical School: Volume 11

Time to get into the great quotes we heard in Term 3! What even was term 3? Was that even this year? What even is life anymore…? Can you guess who said these memorable statements? Let me know!

“My John? No your John? No THAT John!”

“But why the eyeball?!”

“If you have been reacting wildly now, ask your folks. You have been doing that for a long time.”

“Duncan!”

“When a baby sees someone new they go in the opposite direction and think ‘you are not my people!'”

“Some of you all are still adolescence.”

“Maybe you want to be the sex kitten!”

“Sweet, I came to med school to do some integrals.”

“If the p is low, reject the Ho!”

“It’s a pigget!”

“For him it was a big out of pocket payment because Fred lost his apple pie.”

“What do boys think about?” (Queen, you really don’t want to know)

“I have a husband that does this. How do you fix it? You hit them!”

“Ralphhhhh!!!!!!”

“Why do you have a drink in front of you? Midterms are over and I did well! Midterms are over and I didn’t do well!”

“Duncan doesn’t like it when I’m on caffeine.”

“If you can’t tell I’m a bit hypomanic.”

“He said he won’t have any caffeine with me. Mhmmm.”

“I discovered this gym bag and it was so heavy I thought it was laundry. It was filled with caffeine!! Moral of the story, Duncan is not a good sponsor for addiction.”

“By Wednesday this is getting really old so the parents put Billy on an extinction schedule.”

“If Duncan falls asleep outside do I go bring him in? NO! He can sleep on the grass and get bit by mosquitoes.”

“When I heard about bath salts I was like why are people snorting their lilacy bath salts? And then. Florida headline. ‘Homeless man gets face eaten off by man on bath salts,’ and then I said ooooooo I wanna learn about this!!”

“Just YouTube PCP and you will find naked people and traffic.”

“I’m going to tell you what it feels like to be high on heroin, not that I’ve experienced it. But once I tell you, you are going to think ‘gosh I am missing out!'”

Professor: “What happens if you stop using caffeine?” — Student: “You die.”

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