I decided to write this post after a tiring day of very little sleep, no food, meetings and tons of work. I was still recovering from a nasty cold and already had a pounding headache. Work was pretty hectic that night and no one was happy and did what humans do best: freak out. I came back to my dorm confused and shaking and at some point I realized I even had tears. Yeah, me crying is a very odd sight. I sat on my bed trying to figure out the reason why I had these stupid little salty droplets running down my face and then I finally realized – I was exhausted and I was stressed.
After 16 years of school and now finishing my 17th, you would think I know how to handle stress.
The truth is I don’t.
With classes, work and extracurriculars, I’m always running around, trying to balance the mess that is my life. I still don’t know what compelled me to run for three different time-consuming positions, but hey, I have to deal with the consequences.
One of those consequences is the constant worry of forgetting something or the feeling of not having enough time. I’m always worried that I’ve forgotten an assignment for class or forgot to write out an email for work. This actually happened a few nights ago – I woke up at around 3 a.m. worried I forgot to send a writer her shell, only to realize that I actually did.
When I get stressed, I tend to overthink everything. I overanalyze a situation, I freak out over a comment someone might make. And I can’t help it. People think I’m being overdramatic, but honestly, it’s because I have so much going on in my brain that I don’t know what to do anymore. Life is filled with bumpy terrain and gaping potholes. I’m working my way through these the best I can, but sometimes, the pressure gets to me and I begin to crumble.
This isn’t good. But this is also life.
If I want to be successful I need to learn how to balance everything and move on from the hard times and push through, even when I think there is no way out. I need to start having the mindset of “I can do anything” instead of “what if I can’t do it.” I need to learn to appreciate the little things (cliche, I know, but really), which is why I’ve taken up photography and knitting.
I’ve been trying to find ways to calm my nerves and bring myself back to a state of balance. A little walk around campus while listening to fun music, getting a quick bite to eat with my best friend/sister, reading a thought-provoking book, or just simply lying down and thinking about the day. Reflect on what I have done and how I can do better.
And never give up.