Friends are hard to come by. And best friends — dude, those are rare. So once you find one, you better not do anything stupid to make them run away.
But how do you know you have found the right best friend?
I have one and I’m still surprised she has stuck around for over five years now. Anna if you are reading this, honestly, thank you for keeping me sane and being there for me. If you are searching for a best friend, here are some qualities to look out for.
1. They will always ‘be there for you.’
You all have heard the saying “if they can’t handle you at your worst, then they can’t have you at your best.” This is true for friends. A good friend should be willing to help you when you are down and stay at your side no matter what happens (unless you go and murder someone… that’s probably the time to call the cops). Anna was always there when I hit a road bump in life and made sure to keep me level-headed. She even dealt with me when I got moody and angry — she never turned her back on me. A best friend is one that you can always rely on.
2. They are the ones that will do anything and everything with you.
I did most of my crazy college adventures with Anna. And by crazy, I mean like day trips to the mall and then pigging out on food and splurging at Walgreens. I am SO boring. But Anna was totally fine with that and went along for the ride. She even went to my doctor’s appointment with me, even though I made her waste 2 hours at the office (sorry not sorry, bro). We would go on coffee/sushi runs, studied all day in the library and ordered food together at any time. A best friend is one that is ready to join in on any adventure you have in mind, and Anna definitely did just that.
3. They don’t judge you. Even if you do something crazy.
I’m always spewing my crazy ideas to Anna. Like how I want to go on Dancing with the Stars or write a novel or be in Bollywood. Instead of telling me that I’m a lunatic and to drop my crazy dreams, she encourages me and even asks how she can help. Even with this blog, she gives me ideas and always tells me how I’m doing. And she too, will tell me about her ideas (like all of her “Zs” baby names) and I offer even more ideas (like other letters of the alphabet). A best friend will laugh at you, yes, but will also support you and help you fulfill those crazy dreams.
4. They aren’t crazy.
I’ve met people who seem great at the start of the friendship, but then end up being total wackos (is that a word? Now it is). One day they are hanging out in the grass with you and then the next they are eating your food out of your fridge (the food that your family friend brought you because said person had ate all your food the week before — without asking. This actually happened). Or they freak out at you because it is around 8 pm and you are calling your parents and they want to sleep (they then proceed to tell you to stop talking to your parents. This also happened). Or they decide to do arts and crafts at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday (again, this also happened). They are normal, level-headed, amicable people that are fun to be around. A best friend is someone who doesn’t have multiple sides.
5. They don’t sugarcoat anything.
Anna is a very blunt person (as am I). We don’t like circling around the issue and don’t like to soften the truth. That just ends up wasting time. It’s easier and smarter to just tell the person the truth, even if it isn’t what they want to hear. Anna and I always give each other feedback on basically everything. So whenever I need advice on something, whether it be clothes, or an essay, or any situation, I know that she will give me the best, most thorough answer. A best friend is one that isn’t afraid of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run.
6. They are someone you can’t imagine a future without.
Now that college is over, I’ve started to worry about how Anna and I are going to keep in contact. That’s what happened with high school friends — you say you are going to stay in contact and talk all the time, but it never happens. But with Anna, I don’t think that is possible. After living with each other for 3 years, and then spending the last year together whenever we found the chance, I don’t think it is possible for either of us to stop talking to each other, even if it is just over text or Skype. Now, this is going to be extremely awkward if she doesn’t feel the same way (story of my life), but I’m pretty confident in our friendship to know that what I am saying about myself reflects her feelings too. At graduation, we didn’t say goodbye to each other because it honestly wasn’t a goodbye — it was the beginning of our lives in the ‘real’ world. And that didn’t mean that our friendship had to end. A best friend is someone who becomes part of your family — someone who is your family.
Wow that got really sappy at the end…. darn sappiness. But all of this is true. If you can find these six qualities in someone, that person might just be best friend material. And trust me, they are hard to come by. So thank you, Anna, for being that someone for me!
What are some qualities that you look for in a best friend? Let me know in the comments!