Things I Heard In Medical School: Volume 1

After finishing a term of medical school, I’ve come to accept the fact that sleepless nights and forever present stress are my new friends. I don’t think I’ve had a solid night of sleep in 4 months. Or a real meal for that matter.

But I’m not alone here! During my term, I happened to hear a lot of funny things, things that are just so true about medical school.

So here are some random (and yet so true) things I heard in medical school.

“You know how all the girls wear their high heels to Bananas and then they stumble around everywhere? That’s inversion. I just sit outside Bananas Saturday nights and watch the girls in their heels.” – Anatomy guest lecturer (Bananas is a club)

“Can I eat here? I’m going to eat here.” Students trying to act sly and sneak food into buildings past security.

“If I poke you in the meninges it’s going to hurt like hell.” Physiology student instructor

“You aren’t studying your dirty mnemonics, are you?” Physiology student instructor

“Molec sucks.” Biochemistry student instructor just getting straight to the point.

“They just come out of nowhere! Like the vampires in Twilight.” my friend about the frenzy to get a bus

“You should know why this is important for, I don’t know, maybe for a test or something like that.” Molecular biology professor

“Oh your wife cheated on you? Join the club.” Abnormal psychology professor on delusional jealously disorders

“Mammary glands are just modified sweat glands. So think of that next time you drink milk.” Anatomy lecturer

“Maybe you should start carrying around a first aid kit because all you do is fall down.” My mom after I slid down a hill

“You might want to say peripheral because PNS can sound like something else,” Anatomy lecturer

“Don’t curl up into the fetal position.” Anatomy professor when learning the brachial plexus

“You need to get comfortable with feeling each other up,” discussion group instructor when talking about physical exams

“Those of you who have to take the exam. FTM, FTV, what ever the F you are,” Biochemistry professor

“Oh don’t worry about this you don’t need to know this.” Biochemistry professor;  “LIES!” all previous students 

How the hell do I know! I only teach the God damn body. Go ask the creation committee.” Anatomy lecturer

If you are wrong so what? If you are wrong then you are wrong. That’s ok” Anatomy lecturer

“Everyone is too politically correct. Like some dumb ass had to make a big deal about the Starbucks cup because it is red and doesn’t say Merry Christmas. So what?? You all are too sensitive.” Anatomy lecturer

“There’s a beer-pong party this weekend, you all should go! …. No. you aren’t going. you have finals.” Biochemistry student instructor

“If the font is like really small on this slide, do we have to know it for the test? Student to Molecular biology professor

“Is it on the slide? Then yes, it is fair game for the exam. Even if the font is small.” Molecular biology professor (in response to the student. And yes it was on the exam)

“You better not f this up I’m telling you all now,” Biochemistry student instructor

“The answer is always glutamine,” Biochemistry student instructor

“Do I have to?” every student ever when they approach the study hall doors

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2 thoughts on “Things I Heard In Medical School: Volume 1

  1. Absolutely Loved this post. I’m currently in FTM and we are taking our first set of exams while people are taking unifieds. This list was completely relevant haha

    Like

  2. Pingback: Things I Heard in Medical School: Volume 2 | Rambling Reflections

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