Things I Heard In Medical School: Volume 6

Before we start the bulk of Term 2, I thought we could take a trip down memory lane and laugh at some things we heard in Term 1. So without further ado, here are the final quotes I have from our first semester! Enjoy!


If the dorsal nerve is gone, he is going to lose his girlfriend. His life.

Those of you who had aggressive behavior during sand blast might want to make sure you don’t have a penile fracture.

We see this a lot with pediatric. The teenager comes in with mommy and mommy says her angel can’t do anything bad. And now she has a lot more than what she bargained for because she is preggo.

Child bearing is very beautiful for the father, very painful for the mother.

It is very beautiful for the male, thank you God for making me a male. God was good to me.
You guys are slow. I’m over 70 and I’m faster than you guys

The sad thing is that 90% of you guys are going to memorize this stuff and have no clue what you are talking about.

Hello my name is Johnny and how is your urine function?

When you are at a restaurant and someone starts choking then everyone asks if there is a doctor in the house. And then your meal gets interrupted.

Anyone see Anaconda? With Jennifer Lopez? That’s all I remember from it.

You can just look at your parents, grandparents and older siblings and be like wow you are aging.


You can relax, we are decreasing altitude because this is an easy lecture.

We went too low, gotta go at a higher altitude here (when lights flickered and mic went out).

If you see this on the internet they stole it from me. It’s mine, I didn’t steal it!

This is not a sugar you find around the kitchen table.

The metabolic rate decreases with age. I can attest to that.

All of these were important… until you get to cream cheese.

If you combine these things I think it will make a good burrito.

Heart disease is the number one killer in America. Hopefully you will see a lot of these diseases in your clinics.

Here you just ate half the egg so you share half of it with your friend.

I had a small meal. I had a small hamburger… whatever.


I have a pizza in my backpack!

The best stretches are when you make a noise!

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