Things I Heard In Medical School: Volume 8


I’m sorry. I’ve been MIA. But I survived and I am here to share with you all of the interesting things I have heard this term. Please accept this post as an apology from me.

Welcome to Volume 8 of Things I Heard in Medical School!

Physiology

“This poll says there are a lot more introverts than extroverts… I don’t know if I believe that.”

“You can call all of your friends and they each have two hands… hopefully.”

“Seriously. 25 of you already read the question? Nooooo!”

“Myosin goes ‘woo hoo!'”

Immunology

“I didn’t get drunk I’m just telling you what it is.”

“Cytokines can cause clonal expansion, like they did in Star Wars.”

“No! This is not Sonic! You can’t slow me down!”

“Oh no I shouldn’t have said that. I’m going to kick myself.”

“It’s like a meat grinder. You put the cow on one side and get meat on the other.ย Don’t tell the veterinarians that. They will kill me!”

“Only 12 percent of you think!”

“This was supposed to be an easy question!”

Neuroscience

“Do you even know the difference between a protein and a cell?”

“They didn’t teach you about cranial nerves in kindergarten? I am SO sorry.”

“I don’t know if it is called arachnoid mater… there is no spider mother.”

“It is because of CSF that we are allowed to head bang!”

“The anterograde neuron is eagerly waiting for all of the gossip but all of the social media is down , so it wants to die.”

“PICA has no fricking business here!”

“Pineal gland is all the way up there don’t even go there.”

Students

“Take a power shower!”

“B as in Blender Boyz!”

“What is the receptor on the muscle? Nicotinic. Not muscarinic. That’s f–king wrong! Don’t do it.”

“When you screw with this it all gets f–ked up.”

“I didn’t eat lunch yesterday and that was a bad idea because I had to cut a lot of fascia.”

After seeing blank slides in the notes: “Oh this is going to be just SO helpful. Thank you. Oh look there’s more!”

“I think physiology is a conspiracy theory and none of this stuff actually happens.”

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