Things I Heard in Medical School: Volume 9

Back for more quotes? Well, you’re in luck! I still have a bucket load of quotes from Term 2, so we can all relive that wonderful semester again (please sense the sarcasm in that last sentence). This week’s post is a tribute to all of the silly things we heard in neuroscience.

Can you guess who said these? Let me know in the comments! Hope you enjoy these as much as I do.

Neuroscience Quotes

“I’m going to come up to you and say hi and then kick you in the shin.”

“What do you say when you get kicked in the shin? ‘Oh dear, I’ve been kicked in the shin.'”

“Actually, you’ll probably say words I’ve never heard before and I’ll have to go on urban dictionary to find out what you mean.”

“We can thank your axoaxonal neurons for taking away the pain and for saving my life.”

“If you really want to stimulate you postganglionic neurons, I highly suggest you take up smoking.”

“Who wants to be in a coma?”

“Who is stressed out? Here’s some benzos.”

“Maybe you just want to give your friend some crystal meth to try.”

“That place down there makes you happy. I did not say THATTTT!!!”

“Maybe I ask you a turning point question and you say ‘I don’t knowwww’ and then you pass out.”

“The flax cerebri is going to see the corpus callosum and be like ‘HIIIYAHH’ and then we will have a bit of a mess inside.”

“I didn’t put values in here and if that doesn’t make you smile I don’t know what would.”

“And now its decision time. Do you sit or kneel? Whatever decision you make will be partially wrong.”

“I know you have experienced that before. I can see it in your eyes. There is a lot of pain in this room.”

“I can get anyone to have a seizure. I would just call someone down from the audience, pour some salt water on the ground, get them to bathe in it and then tell them to put their tongue in an outlet. I won’t do that today.”

“If your interneurons were all inhibitory your friends would be carrying you in a bucket. I know this.”

“Why is it moving? I don’t know.”

“Why is this damn crossing over happening? Why can’t life be simple?”

“Well, at least we now have something to learn in neuroscience.”

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