Things I Heard in Medical School: Volume 17

Before I start off my final term of basic sciences, I wanted to share some of the funny thing I heard during the Hyperbaric Medicine Selective I did! Which by the way — is AMAZING! If you have questions, let me know! Here are some of the ridiculous things I heard over the last week.

“If two people want to rape each other, isn’t that just consent?”

“The rib cage ain’t down here bro!”

“I need a butt shield.”

Student 1: “I like taking it nice and slow. Oh no, not like that, he can hear me!” | Me: “He’s slow at these jokes anyway, it’s okay.”

Student 1: “Is anyone here Muslim?” | Me: “If I were Muslim would that be a problem?”

“Can you not?”

“I want to get narked!!”

“Are you done now?”

“That’s not what pee is for. It’s a toxin. It should be used for that!”

“We just spent the last 6 hours taking about PDA, sex and porn. We are definitely passing.”

“I just want my certificate.”

“I haven’t shaved my legs in a few days. Oh wait, they can hear us out there!”

“DADDDDD!!!!!”

*Lights go off during middle of final exam* “Classic SGU.”

“I was going to flip off the camera but I wanted to keep my professionalism points.”

“You better not let your wife find out about all your side baes.”

“We got way too close in the chamber.”

Student 1: “Oh I don’t get invited to your wedding?” Me: “I met you two days ago. I don’t know who the hell you are.”

“I took a hit of oxygen it was so good.”

“When they say shortcut, they mean ‘hey, lemme take a detour and stop by my friend’s house.'”

“Hit me with that O2, boy!”

“Can y’all be more professional in there?”

“Push Albert’s face onto the door to close it!”

Student 1: “I’m gonna hit you now.” | Me: “You know, out of context that sounds wrong.”

“Who keeps slamming my door and wants to fail?!”

“Death by bubbles. I want that written on my tombstone.”

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