Things I Heard in Medical School: Volume 18

I should be paying attention to pathophysiology  right now, but I’m not. Sorry mom. While I’m starting to collect quotes for Term 5, I still have some silly things people said back in Term 4 for y’all to enjoy. Did I catch you saying something crazy? Let me know!

“I’m going to google all of the different Gods of all of the religions and pray to all of them. Maybe sacrifice a goat or two.”

Me: “Oh no come back goat I need you for my grades!” | Friend: “That was a good looking one too!”

“I hate everyone here.”

“Can they still get pregnant? Yes because HELLO THEY HAVE ANOTHER TUBE!!!!”

“We need a GPS for micro because no one knows where to go or what to do.”

“Let’s see how good your male genital tract is. I mean how well you know it… you know what I mean…”

“We can’t talk about inhibin the same way again.”

“I know you were told last week that you didn’t have to know this table. But now you have to know this table.”

“I liked her outfit but then she started talking…”

“Whelp we are wide open over here now.”

Professor: “I understand your stress.” | Student: “GIRLLLL what?”

“I’m here for my points.”

Me: “Can you not?” | Friend: “Are you going to say that to your patients?”

“I don’t mind people sleeping in my class. I know you have to come here. As long as you don’t snore.”

“I found this meme where it says if ‘I am mean to you I like you. And if I don’t like you that means I’m pleasant and polite.’ This is totally me.” | Friend: “Wait that means you don’t like me?!” | Me: “Well… this is awkward.”

“I feel like I should just get business cards that say ‘I’m Judgy LA eye’s personal assistant.'”

“The fact that they had to put Africa next to Nigeria is  concerning.”

“That organism just went for him and said ‘I wanna go to the beach.'”

Professor: “What do you think is the hardest section for pathology?”  | Student: “Micro.”

“No thanks hun. I have my triple AAA.”

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