Things I Heard in Medical School: Volume 24

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I just finished my first clinical rotation for year three! Though I will miss psychiatry, I am excited to go to family medicine! But before I start this next rotation, I wanted to share the last batch of quotes from my final days in the psychiatry ED. This one is definitely shorter than last week’s post, so make sure to check out Volume 23 if you haven’t already!

Patient: “Do you know how hard it is to get psych appointment?” | Doctor: “Oh I know. That’s why I’m a psychiatrist. I just talk to myself.”

“She is so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.”

“Wait he is dead? But we are still committing him?”

“Never did I think I would see so many toenails in psych.”

Patient: “I want to go home.” | Doctor: “And what do you want to do when you go home.” | Patient: “Hurt my brother.” | Doctor: “Ok so no….”

“He kept escaping and the one-to-one doesn’t get paid enough to chase him down so they let him leave.”

Doctor: “Didn’t I just commit you a week ago?” | Patient: “Yeah, they said I was fixed.” | Doctor: | “And yet here you are. High again.”

Student 1: “Idaho has potatoes. And Texas has cows.” | Student 2: “What?!” | Student 1: “Because cowboys!” | Me: “You know they ride horses right?”

Doctor: “What’s your last name?” | Patient: “I don’t have one. I’m done talking now.” *pulls curtain shut*

Doctor: “Did you see the one with the hanging toenail??” | Me: “Oh that’s the toenail I didn’t see!”

Nurse: “He said he is hearing voices.” | Doctor: “Yeah… because he is always high on crack.”

“Advice for med school? Never follow a guy.”

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